Partner's annoying sex toys should try to be tolerated, says sex coach Lucy Rowett. The letter of a reader and the expert's advice was published by iNews.
This is reported by the Dr. Evin website.
The coach was approached by a girl whose boyfriend lives on the other side of the country. They see each other on weekends and have phone sex.
"Usually we just touch ourselves and talk dirty, but last week I asked if I could use a vibrator and he agreed and then asked if I minded if he took out his flashlight masturbator. I didn't know what it was and felt disgusted when he told me," the author admitted.
Now she wants to know what to do about the disgust, whether it's normal for men to use such toys, and whether her feelings are a manifestation of a double standard.
Rowett noted that phone sex and mutual masturbation are great ways to keep the sexual spark alive when partners are long-distance. Using a flashlight, she called it perfectly normal. The reason men like to use them is much the same reason women like to use sex toys - for fun and pleasure. Coaching noted that because of the social stigma, many men still feel uncomfortable about wanting to explore sex toys.
The coach added that men who enjoy using sex toys on themselves or with their partners are often more empathetic lovers.
"The one thing we hear most often from the media, friends and family about men and masturbation is that it is disgusting, shameful and even dangerous. We've all heard stories of men who have masturbated or flaunted themselves in front of women and girls in public. It makes sense, then, that it all affects your feelings when he uses a toy," the expert reasoned.
Rowett suggested asking a guy about his toy, being curious about why he chose this particular one and this brand, and asking him to hold it when they meet. The specialist reminded that sex toys are neither competitors nor substitutes for real partners and suggested thinking of the flashlight as a common accessory of their sexual life.
"Think of the toy as your caring for him while you can't be there in person and sharing fun together when you're together," the coach summarized.
Earlier, sex coach Gigi Fong warned against mistakes when performing Kegel exercises with special balls. One of these mistakes was choosing the heaviest ball for the first session.
It is also recommended to read the material entitled "Woman has sleeve gastroplasty to 'not be a fat parent'".
