Experiments in bed very much increase the level of intimacy in the relationship of two, but not everyone knows how to talk about it and properly present information. We asked sexologist Alina Murzagalieva how to offer a partner to diversify intimate life.
This is reported by the Dr. Evin website.
To add novelty to the intimate life of many couples are afraid often because it seems that the classic sex in the end will become uninteresting. But, fortunately, this is a huge myth, and it is experiments in bed that make you miss the classics, because not for nothing they say "classics are always in fashion", and also help to form even more trust in each other, look at themselves from a different perspective and get to know yourself and your partner anew.
Sexual experimentation increases the level of intimacy in a relationship, but not everyone knows how to talk about it and properly present information. Sexual experimentation can scare you, or on the contrary, interest you.
Sometimes the offer itself or the intonation with which it is said sounds so that the partner, even if in theory he would be interested in trying what is offered, will refuse. And the other will be disappointed and will not suggest it again.
Being able to speak is a great skill not only in a couple, but basically in life, which helps to communicate our thoughts as they really are in our heads.
The first and easiest thing to do is to ask your partner about his desires from afar, especially if you have never talked about diversity in bed before. Ideally recognize all this at the very beginning of the relationship, but even if you have been together for a long time and only now decided to experiment - it is not terrible, it also happens. As you know, better late than never.
If you already know each other, try entering through novels or movies.
Find a movie where there is a sex scene that you would like to bring to life and offer your partner to watch the movie together. When you reach the desired fragment, gently and as if casually say: "Wow! How beautiful! Would you like to try something like this?". Then it remains to listen and observe your partner's reaction. If he says: "yes, it could be interesting", you can immediately discuss how and where you can try something like this. In this case, tell all the details of your fantasy. If your partner says "no" immediately and firmly, it means "no" and he/she is not ready for such a thing.
A similar option can be suggested through a book. You can choose a work where you have read a beautiful sex scene, fantasized it, and say to your partner: "Can you imagine, I read such a cool novel ... and there was such a beautiful bed scene in the bathroom (you can invent your own variant or offer to repeat the scene in the book), and would you like to try something like that? How do you feel about such experiments?" And, accordingly, wait for the answer and the partner's reaction.
If you are just starting a relationship, try to talk openly about sex, experimentation and fantasies from the beginning. At the very least, this gives you valuable knowledge about your partner, how relaxed or inhibited he/she is, how well he/she knows his/her body and will help you to give him/her pleasure in the future. Not knowing your body often serves to mimic orgasms and leads to resentment. In addition, you will realize how much you agree or disagree with your partner in your ideas about pleasure, desires and fantasies, and needs.
How else can you talk about experimenting in bed?
Role-playing games
Role-playing games can be as easy or with good scenarios where you need to prepare. Start with light sexting and an erotic photo: "Good evening, my best man! Your hot woman is waiting for you at home tonight! Hurry up!" When your man arrives, let the door open to him just the same hot tigress who wants to do something nice to his man! At home can already play light music for sex, dimmed light will add atmosphere, prepare small snacks and champagne, and remember about smells: aphrodisiacs will be your friends forever and will help you relax. Such experiments will leave no one indifferent, and the evening will be remembered for a long time, and you will both look forward to the next time.
Cards
A great option for couples who have just met, as well as for those who have been in a relationship for a long time. Now there are many variants of games, which are cards with questions on the topics of sex, intimacy, values. The game form is always easier to take than a "serious conversation". If you buy them alone/alone, then already at home or in a cafe you can say: "You know, I bought such a cool game, let's play right now?". If you are somewhere public, this in itself can be very arousing and the game can unfold in an interesting way. Partners take turns pulling out cards and reading out loud the questions and then discussing their answers. Of course, shyness and embarrassment can be present, but it's important to be sincere and open to the conversation, and emphasize the playfulness and ease of the process. If there is a task on the card that is doable right now, you can ask to accomplish it. If your partner is shy, take the initiative and, pulling the next card for yourself, accomplish the task where you are.
And a very important point: if a partner refuses or says that he does not like something, it is absolutely normal, and you should be ready for it, starting such conversations. It is necessary to find out what experiments he would like in turn, or if you do not want anything, then why, because often the refusal can be simply because of shyness or because a person has never tried something like this and is afraid to seem unsexy. It is important to listen to yourself and your partner and choose the communication option that suits both.
It is also recommended to read the material entitled "Blocked sexuality. Causes, consequences and return to a fulfilling life".
