It is hardly possible to find a couple in which there would be no quarrels and misunderstandings. Most of the problems in relationships between men and women arise because we are really different. And not just different - men and women are from different planets. Our approaches to most issues are so different that we need a common language to understand different problems.
This is reported by the Dr. Evin website.
The difference is at the level of psychology and emotion
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is a book by psychologist John Gray, which was published in May 1992. It has been published in many languages and has become a real bestseller. Unlike many other psychologists who focus more on the similarities between the sexes, Gray focuses on the differences.
As an example of a typical problem, women believe that men are not good listeners. This is due to the fact that in a difficult moment they want to speak out, and from their partner they want to receive support and recognition that their difficulties are significant. A man in a hurry immediately wants to find a solution instead of listening carefully. Another problem is that men believe that women try to remake them, as if to "undercut" and give recommendations. For example, when a partner can not independently perform some task, the girl thinks that she should help, and begins to give advice. A man sees this not as her help, but as distrust of his own abilities, because it is important for him to achieve everything himself.
In an interpersonal relationship, a man and a woman are set up to achieve different goals. The lady wants communication and cooperation, love and understanding. Scientists have noted that already in infancy girls react more emotionally to people's faces, while boys - to the shape of objects.
Men don't like to make mistakes
A man, conceived as a model breadwinner and protector, cannot tolerate making mistakes and showing a woman his own weakness or incompetence. He does not like to listen to advice, suggestions, comments, as he hears in them accusations of his incompetence.
He will lead his wife and children to an unfamiliar place to the point of exhaustion, but he will never ask a passerby for directions. He will be painfully worried, but will never speak a word to a woman lest she should recognize his failure. Therefore, a woman must be very delicate to guide him where he needs to go. In general, it is very important for men to hear from a woman that he really gives her everything for her happiness.
Women are more sensitive and sensual
Women's senses are sharper and more sensitive. Their emotional adaptation is much higher than that of men. Girls subtly feel minor changes in attitudes and moods.
A woman's hearing is several orders of magnitude superior to a man's. A woman is able to separate sounds, categorize them, and make a decision about each of them. This enables her to argue with her husband, instruct her child, and talk to a friend on the phone at the same time.
The difference in love
For a woman, love is poetry, but for a man it is prose. A man lives with the attitude "to do something", he demonstrates deep love by actions (for example, conquering a mountain peak or beating out carpets). A woman, on the other hand, needs beautiful confessions and words.
When the relationship is in the courtship stage, the man says more to the woman than he has in their entire life together - these are needs to accomplish his goal of getting the girl he wants.
And how many tears have been shed by women because men pay little attention to caressing and touching in intimate relationships! The readiness of a partner to have sex almost at any time and in any mood (after a quarrel, during the illness of children) makes a woman think that a man is just using her!
But let's turn to science and see that the hypothalamus, where the center of sex is located, is larger in men. In addition, the hormone testosterone, which is responsible for sexual desire, is 10-20 times more abundant in men than in women. That's the nature of it. And women's skin is 10 times more sensitive than men's, it is thinner and has an additional layer. That is why women are in dire need of touch. Men's skin is thicker and less sensitive to tactile contact (its sensitivity is concentrated in a few places). It is quite difficult to find a common language between such different creatures.
Hormones and the stress response
Men have an anti-stress hormone, testosterone, and they produce it alone. Women have oxytocin and feel comfortable talking to someone about their problems. Guys, on the other hand, don't like to complain and relieve stress by solving problems and acting on their own.
Ignorance of these differences leads to the fact that men get tired of women's problems (and they are never calm, always somewhat preoccupied), wave them away, saying, "Don't pay attention to such trifles!". These words only add fuel to the fire. She decides that her partner is ignoring her, doesn't want to pay attention. From this stress only increases. The conversation threatens to turn into a quarrel. A man in a stressed, irritated state can not maintain a conversation. For him to restore the normal level of testosterone and calm down, it is necessary for him to be alone for a while, and he, feeling the emerging conflict, somehow stops it and leaves. At this point, the woman should show wisdom and leave him alone, and not follow him, trying to finish saying something else, because the man may explode and a scandal will be ensured.
To prevent this from happening, women need to try to keep track of the topic of the conversation without going off-topic until it ends with a decision. Most importantly, it is important for both partners to remember to compromise throughout the conversation if they are to get anything out of each other.
It is also recommended to read the material entitled "The difference between male and female logic is revealed".
